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Desperate Housewives Season Finale, May 20 May 22, 2007

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May 20 episode: “Getting Married Today”

Cliffhanger: Or chairhanger. After Carlos learns Edie still is taking the pill and leaves her, the last scene shows Edie moving a chair into place, putting a scarf around her neck and her feet dangling in the air in a suicide attempt. Somehow I don’t see her leaving the show. She still has too many pots to stir.

Surprise No. 1: Bree’s bulging belly. The clever padding will keep her friends thinking she’s pregnant as she plots to raise the child of her pregnant daughter as her own.

Surprise No. 2: Susan and Mike tie the knot in an unplanned ceremony under the trees. Susan want to spare Mike the hassle and expense of a grand wedding. It’s a just-right moment for this golden couple.

Surprise No. 3: Gaby makes out with Carlos at her wedding after eavesdropping on Victor and his dad. Victor wants to run for governor and Gaby vows she won’t say her vows if that’s his plan. He convinces her it’s not, but he and his pop are itching for Victor to be guvner.

Surprise No. 4: Lynette’s mother arrives out of thin air to help care for her family during the cancer treatments. Lynette recalls her mother’s wild days from her childhood and tries to kick her mother out, but Mother stays planted.

Grade: A. Top-notch performances turned in by all the gals. Just hope Edie doesn’t die tragically.

— Stalked by Emily Toadvine

Desperate Housewives, May 13 May 18, 2007

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May 13 Episode: “What Would We Do Without You?”

Same plan, different man: Susan winds up popping the question before Mike can spit it out. She immediately call everyone involved in her wedding to tell them the wedding it on, just with a different groom.

Serving leftovers: Knowing Susan called off her wedding, Gaby decides to hold her wedding that day and steals all of Susan’s peeps and her ideas. Susan objects and they make up over wine and chocolates where they cook up the brilliant idea of having a double wedding.

In the morning it doesn’t sound that brilliant. Mike gets Susan off the hook by saying he doesn’t want to share the day. Victor objects, too, but only because the wedding is just a big media event and a chance for all eyes to be on him. He’s not looking like much of a Prince Charming these days.

A tumor: Just when you thought nothing else bad could happen, Lynette and Tom learn she may have lymphoma. During an argument, she fell out of bed and the X-rays showed the swelling.

Three’s not a crowd: Edie convinces Carlos to move in by saying they’ll have a baby, but it’s just a ploy to keep him around.

Grade: C. It just seemed kind of a bummer to know Gaby is getting ready to head into a bad marriage, Lynette can’t get a break and Edie is as cunning as ever. Too vicious.

Tonight’s episode: “Getting Married Today” — A double wedding for two desperate housewives, Bree and Orson Hodge return to Wisteria Lane, and Lynette’s estranged mother shows up on her doorstep.

— Stalked by Emily Toadvine

“Desperate Housewives,” May 6 May 7, 2007

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Previously on “Desperate Housewives”: Susan made a choice — the wrong one, darn it; things heated up between Rick and Lynette; and Mrs. McCluskey ’fessed up finally.

May 6 episode: “Into the Woods”

No sense of direction: Susan gets lost in the woods trying to find Mike. Before that, she had a really funny if slightly taciturn guide who told her she was a drama queen who couldn’t be happy because she always stirred up trouble that kept her from being happy. How true!

Jail bird: Gaby winds up in jail because she takes being the soon-to-be Mrs. Mayor a bit too seriously. She tears up parking tickets and parks next to a hydrant, then threatens the officer doling out the citations. He bruises her arm when he grabs her, which Victor later sees. Although he chastises Gaby for her immature behavior, he sets some hoodlums on the hapless citation-doler, who beat him. Gaby’s just trouble waiting to happen.

Switching the heat … off: Lynette realizes she’s fallen for another man and tells Rick to leave Scavo’s. That’s kinda lousy for the restaurant because apparently Rick was a darn good chef. But whatever — this is TV land.

Maternal instinct?: Travers’ dad comes back for him, and Edie sees Carlos drawing away from her with the boy’s impending departure. She decides to sue for joint custody, and sweetens the pot for Travers by getting a puppy. Carlos clues in to what’s going on, and promises her he’ll still be around, regardless.

Grade: B-. It was good to see Gaby go to jail for being a brat, and for Susan to have someone point out to her what a drama queen she is. But I was hoping the Lynette-Rick storyline would go on a bit longer. That was interesting, and rather unexpected when it started.

Next week: “What Would We Do Without You?” — Tom questions Lynette about whether she has feelings for Rick. Then, apparently the Scavos face some pretty bad news.

— Stalked by Jennifer Brummett

Desperate Housewives, April 29 April 30, 2007

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Previously on “Desperate Housewives”: Mrs. McCluskey’s 10-years-dead husband was found in the freezer after a power outage. Rick and Lynette continue to spend long hours together at the pizzeria. Victor and Gabby get engaged at a news conference, and Carlos finds out about on the TV news. Susan finds out Mike and Ian bet her in a car game and Mike lost, so she throws out both of them.

April 29 episode: “Gossip”

Who your real friends are: Edie tells Gabby about dating Carlos at Gabby’s engagement party, which infuriates her. She gets Lynette and Susan to promise to give Edie the cold shoulder, but Edie offers them lucrative gigs at Travers’ birthday party, which they accept. Silly of Gabby to insist her friends side with her — so grade school. Carlos calls her on it later, which is when she figures out he still loves her.

Tell the truth: Parker Scavo endures a lot of ribbing from his friends because Mrs. McCluskey won’t come clean about why Mr. McCluskey is in the freezer. She finally does tell some of the women after Travers’ party: Apparently, her deceased husband never changed his pension plan to name her beneficiary. The money would have gone to his first wife, to whom he was married only two years. So she hid him away and kept cashing the checks. Who can blame her for that? What a moron her the deceased was.

Some spicy stuff: Lynette appears to become more intrigued by Rick, and even agrees to attend a restaurant opening with him. Tom suspects something is up when his daughter hears Rick and Lynette talking and sees them together at the restaurant.

Wrong choice: Susan is angry at Ian and Mike and lashes out inappropriately at a stranger. She winds up seeing a therapist, who apparently points her in a good direction because she ends up choosing Ian. Right choice! But then she listens to a messange on her answeing machine — twice — from Mike, about how she was the best thing that ever happened to him. Twice? OMG! Ian sees her faraway expression and realize she loves Mike more — and leaves. And Susan lets him. So wrong on so many levels. I think Ian is more stable, is nicer, is smarter, is funnier — he’s, like, the package. Susan’s an idiot.

Grade: A. Seeing Susan make a choice; seeing the chemistry evolve between Rick and Lynette; seeing a nice kid (Parker) for a change; and seeing Edie’s softer side regularly make up for missing Bree. Even if Susan did make the wrong bloody choice.

— Stalked by Jennifer Brummett

Desperate Housewives, April 22 April 26, 2007

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Previously on “Desperate Housewives”: Carlos and Edie discover sex together is shockingly bad, but after a trip to the zoo with Travis, they end up in bed together again and the sex is good. Victor and Gabby hook up — finally. Mike saves Ian from drowning after Susan runs the car off the road. Lynette is left to run the pizzeria after Tom’s hernia surgery. She hires a down-on-his-luck, ex-druggie chef against Tom’s wishes.

April 22 episode title: “God, That’s Good”

Rotten power company: A power outage worries Mrs. McCluskey, who has her dead husband in the freezer. She trips going down the stairs and winds up having an ambulance called to tak her to the hospital. She thinks the power comes back on as she’s leaving — but the freezer shots out and a neighbor finds the body.

Letyer hair down, baby: Rick and Lynette spend long hours together at the pizzeria, and Rick bails out the join from numerous tight situations. He compliments Lynette when she lets her hair down one night, adn we see her letting it down as she drives to work one morning.

Love in an elevator: Victor and Gabrielle end up having sex in an elevator during the power outage, and video pictures are used to blackmail Victor, who had asked Gabby to marry him the next morning. She declined, but when the pictures surface and the media makes a big deal out of the pictures, she accepts quite publicly at a news conference.

Grade: A-. Love the dead body, and Mrs. McCluskey trying to bribe Parker Scavo to keep the secret because he saw the body when he snuck in to her basement to steal an ice cream bar. Darn that electricity outage. I miss Bree’s prim sauciness, though. Is that oxymoronic? Possibly.

Next week: The dead body found in a Wisteria Lane home is the talk of the town. Gabby’s engagement party proves to be a spot for revelations. Susan must choose between Ian and Mike.

— Stalked by Jennifer Brummett

Desperate Housewives, April 8 April 9, 2007

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Episode: “Dress Big”

Hot Mama!: Susan meets Ian’s parents and sets his Mom on fire while trying to light the grill. Ian’s mother is less-than-thrilled with Susan when she learns she is a divorced. Susan clumsiness strikes again and she knocks his mother down and spills wine on her.

While going to get her a clean shirt, she finds Ian’s father in her underwear. Ian’s mom asks Susan to sign a prenuptial and Ian brings the paperwork to bed.

Edie and Gabrielle discuss sex — or their lack of it. Edie sets her sights on Carlos and asks for a play date. Edie tries to seduce Carlos. He turns her down rather harshly but then sends her flowers. She comes over, he apologizes and she bares all. A new romance begins.

Gabrielle returns home to find her closet has flooded and her designer duds ruined. Gabrielle discovers her dream closet belonging to Victor’s ex-wife. She sneaks into Victor’s house and takes his ex-wife’s clothes. Gabrielle and Victor’s ex fight over the dress when they meet up at a banquet.

Mike’s in therapy and thoughts of Susan resurface. He and Susan reminisce about their past.

Lynette does not want to wear Scavo’s orange uniform and tries to rally the staff to help her. Tom overhears her talking to them and they argue and she walks out. Lynette finds Tom unconscious in the restaurant and calls for an ambulance. Tom has to have back surgery and will not be able to work for up to 6 months.

— Stalked by Karen Ross

Desperate Housewives, April 1 April 2, 2007

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Episode: “The Juiciest Bites”
Recaps run amuck — all is revealed again and again!
Friends, enemies, lovers, mothers, sex, beginnings and revenge: This episode is truly the juiciest bites — all of them in no order.
Here are some highlights: Tom’s surprise child from another relationship. Gabrielle’s juvenile lover. Lynette’s table dance. Susan gets locked out of her house naked. Susan and Edie’s houses burn. Gabby fights a nun — in church. Susan and Ian date while Mike’s in a coma. Scavo’s opens and proposals fly. Carlos and Gabrielle’s bitter divorce. Victor Lang makes his move on Gabby.
Farewell to the departed: Mary Alice, Nora, Martha Huber, George Williams, Monique, Jane, Ralph the gardener, Rex, Mathew Applewhite, Deidre Taylor, Curtis Monroe, Juanita Solis and Alma Hodge.
Coming up: Scavo’s gets a hot new chef. Victor is in hot pursuit of Gabby. Edie hits on Carlos and is rejected. Mike and Susan kiss. Mrs. McCluskey has a secret.

— Stalked by Karen Ross

Desperate Housewives, March 25 March 26, 2007

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Episode title (rerun): “Bang”

Bree confronts Orson with the police report Carolyn gave her. He denies he ever abused his first wife and he was only defending himself when she attacked him. Orson states that if Carolyn had paid more attention to her own marriage, her husband might not have cheated with Monique.

A confused Carolyn calls Harvey and he admits to the affair with Monique. She is frantic and demands to know who he would rather be with — her or Monique. Harvey tries to console her by adding Monique is dead.

In the divorce, Gabrielle gets the house while Carlos is getting everything in it! Gabrielle and Carlos have a “War of the Roses” battle that destroys all their belongings.

Susan is worried about Julie after finding a beer can in her house. Susan and Ian are planning a trip to Paris and she is concerned about leaving Julie alone with Austin.

At the supermarket, Julie runs into Austin, who slips a bottle of whiskey into her backpack. She and Austin get caught shoplifting. Susan is called to come to the market to help Julie with the shoplifting issue. Susan cancels her trip with Ian.

Edie and Susan are called to come to the market to help Julie and Austin. Carolyn comes to the market and she is so angered by her husband’s infidelity, she pulls a gun on him. A chaotic hostage situation occurs; Lynette is shot in the arm and Carolyn delivers a fatal blow to Nora.

Grade: A

— Stalked by Karen Ross

Desperate Housewives, March 18 March 20, 2007

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Episode title (rerun): “Bang”

Bree confronts Orson with the police report Carolyn gave her. He denies he ever abused his first wife and he was only defending himself when she attacked him. Orson states that if Carolyn had paid more attention to her own marriage, her husband might not have cheated with Monique.

A confused Carolyn calls Harvey and he admits to the affair with Monique. She is frantic and demands to know who he would rather be with — her or Monique. Harvey tries to console her by adding Monique is dead.

In the divorce, Gabrielle gets the house while Carlos is getting everything in it! Gabrielle and Carlos have a “War of the Roses” battle that destroys all their belongings.

Susan is worried about Julie after finding a beer can in her house. Susan and Ian are planning a trip to Paris and she is concerned about leaving Julie alone with Austin.

At the supermarket, Julie runs into Austin, who slips a bottle of whiskey into her backpack. She and Austin get caught shoplifting. Susan is called to come to the market to help Julie with the shoplifting issue. Susan cancels her trip with Ian.

Edie and Susan are called to come to the market to help Julie and Austin. Carolyn comes to the market and she is so angered by her husband’s infidelity, she pulls a gun on him. A chaotic hostage situation occurs; Lynette is shot in the arm and Carolyn delivers a fatal blow to Nora.

Grade: A

— Stalked by Karen Ross

Desperate Housewives, March 11 March 12, 2007

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Original air date: Oct. 29, 2006

Carlos tells his lawyer to give Gabrielle everything she wants in the divorce. Her suspicions are confirmed when she finds a new job contract he’s hidden.

Susan surprises Mike at the hospital. She’s surprised to find him making out with Edie!

Lynette is less than impressed with Tom’s dream of a family pizzeria and he spends the night alone in the rundown building.

Kayla overhears Lynette tell her boys that Daddy is alone at the pizzeria. She tells her mom Nora, who runs over to try and seduce him.

Bree is snubbed at the country club for a second time. Her friends are convinced Orson is a murderer.

Gabrielle and Carlos share a night of passion and she rethinks the divorce, until he confides his contract was a scam to get her back. She throws him out!

Grade: B+

— Stalked by Karen Ross